breaking away

i'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.





Leaving behind the scars, unwanted decisions and robot-like machine tupperware people surrounding me.
Emphazising them more would be something strange to toggle but a lot of times I did learn to carry on and dwell on them, maybe not in terms of my traditional functioned mind but the leaning itself did matter.
Anyway, moving on may mean learning. It may mean letting go of every inappropriate grudge.



Yet sometimes.. dreams can be a little scary once you're on it coz it's too imaginative to explore and believing that you're already grasping it can be far beyond one's expectations. You just can't runaway from it for two things will be pulling you back: One would be your mind's aspirations pushing you over and over again to do it and Second the thought of wanting to see what's there in the box before regretting to escape it.

Maybe life really was a matter of choice; substanial plug-in to enjoy the mere compact of it.
I'll risk. Even if it means losing. Losing a lot of former good co-employees. Losing compensation.(Haha!). Because maybe, just maybe this would be my huge break. And anyhow I know I'll be stronger facing new struggles after this, besides I know my priorities and nothing can stop me persevering to get it.

-----unwhining-----

The days caught me up. Yes, indeed time is a healer.
It even let me see through the windows of forgetting.
But I just can't escape fate. I can't fool myself.
One time I'll be gone. On the other I'm still holding it.
There were days when everything's a mess.
Yet there was the stagnant immediate ones.
Everyday was a lesson, a lesson I must learn.
A day I can't miss to enjoy and capture.
Maybe it wounded me, but I leaned then stand on my knees.
To manage for another try.
I know things would never be easy.
Not the thought I was wishing with crossed fingers for.
Not even a slice of cake.
Nor a cry on spilled milk.
The boat will take me across the lands.
And it'll be bundled with high tides, storms and hurricanes.
No matter what, I need to acknowledge to the sky.
And see the Light and hopefully sail on smooth waters.

:)

wound-bliss

I never really thought it would be of this difficulty.

I never imagined myself growing tired of a tragic of not wanting to look, wait and scan over people passing.

I never was treated unfairly, and yet I condemn being out of reach upon struggles.

I never listen nor hesitate being apart from it, but life took us that way far, far enough to forget.

I never realize a melodramatic situation wherein it will involve a lot of criticisms and reactions that I never wanted to posses nor obsess.

I never sanctify to the truth of my own stone-thrown decisions.

I never respected its reasoning sometimes hence I look forward seeing the negativity and cling on my own mind controlling beliefs.

I never was of foolish following the right circumstances, and I fail him/Him.

I never really get to care on what’s a must or should but rather I put sympathize on what I can.

I never punish myself unto my failures and selfishness thus I create an unfamiliar hymn which produces vibrant noise of chants.

I never really ignore the reprimands I just take them in consideration of things I wanted to do.

I never ought to know the huge difference of letting go and holding a hand, yet it made a misconception of knowing the value of both.

I never was too careful filling the days with solid mysteries and essence.

I never was too eager to count out days passing and neglect them as much as possible.

I never was unloved nor unpaid for what I deserve it was always more, plenty and fulfilling.

I never was of contentment upon everything especially when it regards my passion.

I never was of influence in getting the right lectures, the secured vows, the forgiving heart nor the upgraded scientist testing experiments of time.

I never end the day of sanity, I just try to tend on it.

I never mind being left out in the street but I pity those who are in it mostly on cold dark nights.

I never wanted to spend the morning with sun, it aches my eyes.

I never aspire to stop dreaming in any how or matter it will push me through.

I just never thought awe would come upon me on times I let go of the most precious substantial stone left in grasp despite sacrifices I chose to throw it and cast no more shadow with it.