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There was once a village attacked by a huge and monstrous sea serpent. It destroyed the village's plains, trees and most of the houses in it. The sea serpent kept attacking for the next three days until it finally spoke to the village people. The destroyer wanted the village to offer a virgin woman after every three full moons and if they do that the sea creature would leave the village unharmed. And so, the village people did what the serpent wants for almost a decade now. The village had a better life and the continuous offering was still done. The village people never wanted to turn against the sea serpent, simply because the creature was strong enough to destroy the village, their living and their families. And no matter what other offerings the village gave the serpent, it still wants someone from their village. Until on the 50th offering of the village, a masked warrior appeared and tried fighting the sea serpent. The warrior shoots arrow with blazing fire using the bow to the serpent's body, endless times until the sea serpent falls down to the water. Everyone was shocked and happy for the success of the warrior in defeating the monster. And then the warrior asked the village people to follow him to his ship. The warrior let the people see the true form of the serpent. The village people were all shocked to see a costumed sea serpent and underneath it are pirates. Then the warrior unveiled his self to the people and it was a woman after all. She declared what the pirates were doing to the offered women, making them slaves, they were punished and raped. And she was one of them, one who got her knees and guts all together to figure out a way to escape. Once she was free, she swore to stop the pirates from all their wrong doings. The village people were so grateful for her. And so they went to the pirates' hidden place and destroyed all their stuffs and freed all their loved ones and children.

One happy ending story from my hero isn't it?

Sometimes the worst fear can kill all the energy and spirit of fighting you have inside yourself. But that's how fear goes, as long as you have it, it can destroy everything within you that will lead you to destroying others as well.
This is how I was touched by someone dear to me. Someone willing to risk. Someone strong enough to fight his own fears even how difficult it gets.
How I wish someday I could tell this to his face. Someday.

Androgyny

I know this.
I remembered everything now.
I felt this already.

The exact reason, I stopped caring for him.
I know where this would lead.
And I can't let it torn me apart again.
I must be stronger now, I can do this.

They say flying a kite was easy.
I tell them that it's not.

First, you need to make sure the kite is made of a strong material, against the birds but at the same time can withstand strong winds.
Next, you will be needing a string, long enough for your to hold, no matter how far it will get.
Then you may now let it fly.
This part is the hardest.
You run while slowly pacing and letting the string that binds the kite and your hand to loosen.
You run and run, until it flies in the air, and once it's high enough, you need to pull the string closer to you in order for it to fly higher and almost at the top of your head.
After some time of finally achieving your desired height of flying the kite, you may now tie it to somewhere solid enough to hold it.
Watch it sway.
This is the happiness  you conquer from flying it.
It stops your world, making you focus only to it.
Makes you forget all the hardships of flying it.

After some time, you would be recoiling back to reality.
Realizing that you have a lot of other things to do other that watching it fly.

You have a choice of leaving it flying there, in the sky. Unknowing, if it'll fall by itself or another person would try to get it.
Or you can manage to let it go down, pulling the string all over again to your direction until it falls to the ground.

Make a choice.
Making a choice from the two would mean another day or not.



And I am choosing to leave it there.

The perfect enemy

There are just times when you feel that everything is normal.
Normal day, perfect weather or a nice spot to start everything up.
When all of a sudden, it fades to gray then black.
Then everything became a total black out.
You can't see anything.
You don't know which way to go.
And no matter where you run, nothing is happening.
Nothing seems to move.
Nothing, exactly nothing was feeling good.
And every single thing is a full strange attack of absurdity.

---------
I just don't think I am ready.
Not ready to lay my hands on top of the heating pan.
Not ready to follow any other rules.
Not even ready to acknowledge all of my weaknesses.
Maybe, not ready for anything

Maybe I'm scared.
Still freaking scared.
Agonized by my past, still no room for tomorrows.
Still behind all my reasons and pulling them tighter around my arms.

I can't let go.
And I can't move on.
A lot of ifs, whys, hows and cants.
I just don't think I deserve happiness.

Or should I say, I can't really ask myself to struggle one more time.
I was strong enough.
And I can't let it be broken anymore.
I can't put my guards down now.
Now, that I've made all my bricks smolder enough not to break.

It can't break.
I can't afford it to break.
Breaking would mean losing the only thing that is left of me.

I'll fly away from here.
Now that I have my chance.
I will forget everything, stand up on my feet.
And leave my foolish heart behind.