Absence

I just realized, just now that I have some pending drafts here - unpublished melodramatic syndrome I made - and which I need to finish some day.

Realizations hit me again.
His absence caused a lot of it.
They say once someone went out of your life, you'll realize other people's presence near you.
But on an opposite way I felt it.
I tend to cling on myself and him a lot.
That having friends did not count on me anymore.
Companionship maybe, for some time and after that, when his around, they're out of the picture again.
I want some normal time with my friends but things were never easy now.
Different lives, lifestyles and times.
Well, before I was contented with just few times with them then I still end my day with him.
And that comprises my life.
But now.. It was never easy now..
Each day I realize that.
And making things better make it worse.
well.. maybe someday I'll gain some strength to build another world where my kind of games would work.
I wish things would be better.
Waking and sleeping each day creeps my being.
Annoyance and irritation attack me when his not around.
Abolishing my work loads become significant now.
Good luck in recovering.
Heartaches never stop hitting me.
Why the hell is it so easy to target me?