Eid'l made long weekends to a lot of people.
This made me think for some time now..
I wanted to skip thinking now, I need to gain weight, I even consulted a dietician regarding it and I'm planning to follow them and hopefully gain ounces.On contrary, I wanted to spend time again thinking on what I ought to do and decide things hastely, but why hurry, I have a lot of time anyway. But my sleeping routine is getting lesser and lesser everytime I skip thinking. I have a lot of vacant times especially during my travelling hours, instead of sleeping all through out that 3hrs ride going work and home reversely every weekdays, I start to think and day dream and it irks me. I need sleep and unfortunately a lot of times I wasn't able to count on it anymore.
LUX but for RELAX.
*Maybe, I'll search for a part time in programming.
- this would give extra credit to have a car and finally focus on driving and quit thinking.
*Save for a C3 phone.
- this is just a luxury but at the end of the year I'll be leaving my current work, it means giving up my company phone now.
I've done a stupid thing last Thursday, I know I shouldn't have done that. And I regret it. I hate it. Begging was never a count nor an open option in my life. But maybe at that certain time that was the most I can do. And it just pained me doing it. It actually swallowed my pride, which is the only thing I never risk in times like this. In the end, I know I was even the wrong one. I didn't see a more elusive way of dealing with it anymore. I just wanted to be happy, I know I almost have everything and yet with this one thing I look not contended and in despair of getting it. I wanted to skip it. Skip it so bad it even hurts.
-sept.10,2010
This made me think for some time now..
I wanted to skip thinking now, I need to gain weight, I even consulted a dietician regarding it and I'm planning to follow them and hopefully gain ounces.On contrary, I wanted to spend time again thinking on what I ought to do and decide things hastely, but why hurry, I have a lot of time anyway. But my sleeping routine is getting lesser and lesser everytime I skip thinking. I have a lot of vacant times especially during my travelling hours, instead of sleeping all through out that 3hrs ride going work and home reversely every weekdays, I start to think and day dream and it irks me. I need sleep and unfortunately a lot of times I wasn't able to count on it anymore.
LUX but for RELAX.
*Maybe, I'll search for a part time in programming.
- this would give extra credit to have a car and finally focus on driving and quit thinking.
*Save for a C3 phone.
- this is just a luxury but at the end of the year I'll be leaving my current work, it means giving up my company phone now.
I've done a stupid thing last Thursday, I know I shouldn't have done that. And I regret it. I hate it. Begging was never a count nor an open option in my life. But maybe at that certain time that was the most I can do. And it just pained me doing it. It actually swallowed my pride, which is the only thing I never risk in times like this. In the end, I know I was even the wrong one. I didn't see a more elusive way of dealing with it anymore. I just wanted to be happy, I know I almost have everything and yet with this one thing I look not contended and in despair of getting it. I wanted to skip it. Skip it so bad it even hurts.
-sept.10,2010
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