delirious

Reality creeps today. 
Yesterday was enough to open chances and learning and yearnings to straighten my mind and capabilities towards the right road. 
I should really be heading north and stop pausing on stop overs and long cuts. 
I never realize sailing can be of this complex.
I've been trapped and unfamiliar-ized by my compass, I went subtle on my guide. 
I didn't follow the directions and now I have to make absolute turn over.
 It’s been a while, a lot of time had slipped leaving me shattered and dismayed at the outcomes. 
Intervening people and events became something soothing for the last months. 
Time consumed me a lot of opportunities that I slipped away from my fingers, I was unfair. I hungered for things and chances even if I know can never be offered to me. 
I am undeserving of everything upon anything. 

I loathe too much. Too much of him to offer me. 

And I, bugging and bragging about it would be injustice to completely welcome the feeling that he can when it really is impossible. 

I’m impossibly crazy, I know. 

The knowledge of recognizing that it’s extremely impossible would be more wound-ful. 

There are just things that I certainly at any matter can not and will not be able to change. 
And specifically, it includes him. 
At the end of the day, questions struggle me. 

Am I wanting too much? 
Am I disoriented? Am I impossible? 
Is it that difficult? 

It is just way, way unsymmetrical. 
I know, however I try to escape things in regards of him, I can not run entirely away from him. 

It will surely take a lot, I mean a bunch of guts to achieve it. 

It will take time. 
It may take forever to patch and sue. 
And forever is just an illusion..

Where's my Edward?
Yes, it's fiction. It's just a dream.