damn.. questions

Maybe I am; I am stuck.

The days swiftly pass. Routine as it may seem.

Declaration of astonishment on peculiar ideas was the dumb thought, as days sway.

Think and over-think.
Run and overrun.
Turn just upturn.
Wiggle and wrinkle.

I am ignorant.
I am ruined.
I am just so uncertain.

I disguise even to my own self.
I forget how to figure my way back, everything else now seems dark. And its darker and meaner than the usual. I cling on things I can never really manage, and roll it out as if I am really clasping it, when in fact I am not. I can't direct things. I can't even make it stay whirling hence I always slip it out my fingers. Even just under my fingers, I wasn't good enough managing it; how much more wrapping it around my arms and body.

It's useless. Seamless.
Where do I go from here. I am just completely lost.
I lose track of everything.
How did I get here in the first place?
I don't quite remember.
And if I did, I could have, should have, would have - no, there is no way out now.

I am stuck in a whirlpool of complete obvious disillusionment.